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LIVE Oscars Blog

Follow along with Have You Read The Review during the 86th annual Academy Awards and tell us your thoughts throughout the evening in the comments below.


5:30 p.m.
Who's ready for the red carpet? (We are)




7:45 p.m. 
Red Carpet Favorites:
  • Lupita Nyong'o 
  • Sally Hawkins
  • (The world's hottest couple) Matthew McConaughey & Camila Alves
  • Charlize Theron
  • Jennifer Lawrence
  • Julia Roberts


The Oscars would not be complete without a Jennifer Lawrence fall


...She's almost as charming as Jared Leto on the red carpet. 


8:00 p.m. 
SHOWTIME! 

Ellen DeGeneres kicked off the show with the kind of simple, sarcastic hilarity we have come to expect from her. Some highlights:

A bit on Jennifer Lawrence's fall was comedic beauty, promising to not discuss last year's "incident" before threatening to show a clip: "If you win tonight, I think we should bring you the Oscar. We can do that right?" 

A crack at the beauty of Jared Leto and his flowing locks: "I'm not going to say who looks the most beautiful but, it's clear...it's Jared Leto. He's the prettiest one here."  

Comparing the elder of the nominees to the stars of Dallas Buyers Club: "Speaking of sex at the rodeo...Bruce Dern is here tonight." 

Poking fun at her own sexuality with the mention of Jonah Hill's nudeness in Wolf of Wall Street: "You showed us something in that film that I have not seen for a very, very long time." 

8:40 p.m. 
Best Supporting Actor

Jared Leto heartfelt speech covered his mom, bandmate and brother, "all the dreamers" in Ukraine and Venezuela, AIDS victims and his fellow nominees. He covered all the bases eloquently and graciously. 

Not to mention...Jared Leto telling Matthew McConaughey he loved him really rocked my world to the core. I can die happy. 

Oscar Predictions Update: Have You Read The Review is 1-0 

8:51 p.m. 
Pharrell performs "Happy" 

1. The hat is back 

2. Pharrell dancing with nominated actresses made for a multitude of joyous moments including snaps from Lupita Nyong'o, a shimmy from Meryl Streep and a full on body roll from Amy Adams. You heard me. 



8:57 p.m. 
Catherine Martin of Great Gatsby wins for achievement in Costume Design 

Oscar Predictions Update: Have You Read The Review is 2-0

9:00 p.m. 
Dallas Buyers Club wins for achievement in makeup and hairstyling

Another opportunity for the cameramen to pan over to McConaughey and Leto...twice. Thank you to the Academy for making this possible. 

Oscar Predictions Update: Have You Read The Review is 3-0

9:15 p.m. 
Best Animated Short and Feature Film go to Mr. Hublot and Frozen 

Frozen was a given, but Mr. Hublot found a way to overtake the power of Disney and the nostalgia that surrounds it in its defeat of Get a Horse. 

Oscar Predictions Update: Have You Read The Review is 4-1

9:22 p.m. 
Gravity wins it's first Oscar of Visual Effects 

Go ahead and take your bathroom break during all visual/editing/sound mixing categories. Gravity will win...all of them. 

Oscar Predictions Update: Have You Read The Review is 5-1

*Ellen Watch*
So far Ellen is knocking it out of the park. Exhibit A: Ellen references "more surprises coming up after the break" while startling Leonardo DiCaprio and Sandra Bullock.



9:32 p.m. 
Helium wins the Oscar for Best Live Short, beating out the favorite The Voorman Problem

Oscar Predictions Update: Have You Read The Review is 5-2

9:34 p.m. 
The Lady in Number 6: Music Saved My Life wins the Oscar for Best Documentary Short

This is not surprising as Netflix had just bought the rights to the documentary. 

Oscar Predictions Update: Have You Read The Review is 6-2

9:38 p.m. 
20 Feet from Stardom wins the Oscar for Best Documentary 

I couldn't be happier about this award. For those who have not seen it, I beg you to check out 20 Feet from Stardom. The real-life story of Darlene Love and background singers like her is beyond inspiring...not to mention the powerful, soulful songs that form the backbone of the film. 

When Darlene Love began to sing a spiritual tune as part of her acceptance speech, I couldn't help but think of all of her struggles, painstakingly detailed in the documentary, rolling off of her shoulders as she joyfully raised her hands in the air in front of Hollywood's royalty. It should be public knowledge that she is also royalty, finally realized after decades of living in the background. Miss Love can now publicly shake off the dust she gathered from standing in the shadows. 

Oscar Predictions Update: Have You Read The Review is 7-2

9:50 p.m. 
The Great Beauty wins the Oscar for Best Foreign Film 

This artistic masterpiece is now available on iTunes. Please do everything you can to make the time to introduce yourself to Jep Gambardella. Cinematography doesn't get much better than the cinematic beauty this film achieved.



Oscar Predictions Update: Have You Read The Review is 8-2

10:03 p.m.
Ellen takes what will go down as the most epic selfie of all-time.



10:08 p.m.
Gravity wins its second Oscar for achievement in Sound Mixing.


Oscar Predictions Update: Have You Read The Review is 9-2

10:10 p.m.
Gravity wins its third Oscar for achievement in Sound Editing.

Oscar Predictions Update: Have You Read The Review is 10-2

10:13 p.m.
LUPITA NYONG'O WINS FOR BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS!!!

So deserving. So gracious. So beautiful. Congratulations to the newest (and dare I say brightest?) star in Hollywood.

Oscar Predictions Update: Have You Read The Review is 11-2

10:22 p.m.
Ellen delivered pizza to the world's biggest stars.



10:27 p.m.
Gravity wins its fourth Oscar for Best Cinematography.

Oscar Predictions Update: Have You Read The Review is 12-2

10:31 p.m.
Gravity wins its fifth Oscar for achievement in Film Editing.

In case you haven't been paying attention...Gravity is a very loud, visual movie.

Oscar Predictions Update: Have You Read The Review is 13-2

10:54 p.m.
In Memoriam

The moment where we are all reminded of the fact that we lost one of the greatest to ever grace the screen. RIP Philip Seymour Hoffman.


11:09 p.m.
Idina Menzel performed the Oscar nominated original song "Let it Go." 

The middle-schooler in me, sitting in the fourth row of the original production of Wicked on Broadway, wide-eyed at the sight of Idina Menzel and the sound of her impeccable voice, geeked out over this performance. Menzel is queen.

11:14 p.m.
Gravity wins its sixth Oscar for Best Score.

Oscar Predictions Update: Have You Read The Review is 14-2

11:17 p.m.
"Let it Go" from Frozen wins for Best Original Song.

And every Idina Menzel fan can now fully rejoice.



Oscar Predictions Update: Have You Read The Review is 15-2

11:25p.m.
12 Years a Slave wins Best Adapted Screenplay.

Oscar Predictions Update: Have You Read The Review is 16-2

11:27p.m.
Spike Jonze, writer/director of Her wins Best Original Screenplay.

Her just hammered the last nail into American Hustle's coffin. Looks like American Hustle will be shut out from Oscar victories. Hype doesn't always translate into votes. 

Oscar Predictions Update: Have You Read The Review is 17-2

11:35p.m.
Alfonso Cuaron wins Best Director for the amazing visual achievement that is Gravity. 

Due to the language barrier, Cuaron almost called the big whigs of Warner Brothers "wise guys." Luckily, he corrected himself with "wise people," making for a charmingly hilarious moment.

He also acknowledged Sandra Bullock, calling her one of the greatest people he's ever met.

Oscar Predictions Update: Have You Read The Review is 18-2

11:43p.m.
Cate Blanchett wins Best Actress in a Leading Role for her manic insanity in Blue Jasmine.

Blanchett was as gracious as ever telling Amy Adams "[I love] everything you do, but your performance in American Hustle blew my mind," and joked with Sandra Bullock, "I can watch that performance til the end of time, and I kind of felt like I did."

She also told us that the world is round. Wait...what?

Oscar Predictions Update: Have You Read The Review is 19-2


11:48p.m.
MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY WINS BEST ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE!!

I've waited my entire life for that acceptance speech. Why aren't we all hardwired to think/speak/act like McConaughey - the King of Smooth? 

Oscar Predictions Update: Have You Read The Review is 20-2

Here's a live shot of Leo's reaction to another loss:



11:57p.m.
12 Years a Slave wins Best Picture

Oscar Predictions Update: Have You Read The Review is 21-2
Have You Read The Review's "We Told You So" List of Oscar Predictions

The internet is abuzz with predictions for this Sunday's 86th annual Academy Awards. Have You Read The Review takes you one step further with our list of Oscar predictions and who would have our vote (if the Academy were kind enough to give us one). Please be advised that this list can and will be used for "we told you so" purposes.


Best Picture 

American Hustle
Captain Phillips
Dallas Buyers Club
Gravity
Her
Nebraska
Philomena
12 Years a Slave
The Wolf of Wall Street

Who will win: 12 Years a Slave
If we had a vote: 12 Years a Slave


It is always fascinating to me how different each Best Picture nominee is from the next. It's often hard to weigh them on the same scale, like declaring a "best piece of art" winner between a painting, musical composition and sculpture. However, this year I can confidently say that Steve McQueen's historical drama 12 Years a Slave is far and above the best film of the year...and with this year's list of stellar nominees, that is a compliment of the highest order.


Actor in a Leading Role 

Christian Bale - American Hustle
Bruce Dern - Nebraska
LeonardoDiCaprio - Wolf of Wall Street
Chiwetel Ejiofor - 12 Years a Slave
Matthew McConaughey - Dallas Buyers Club

Who will win: Matthew McConaughey
Who could surprise: Chiwetel Ejiofor OR Lenardo DiCaprio

If we had a vote: Matthew McConaughey - To whom it may concern: When given the chance, this blog will never bet against McConaughey. Never. If our favorite actor were to win this year, he would be standing atop perhaps the best group of nominees in years. This is the night's toughest category to call.

Actress in a Leading Role

Amy Adams - American Hustle
Cate Blanchett - Blue Jasmine
Sandra Bullock - Gravity
Judi Dench - Philomena
Meryl Streep - August: Osage County

Who will win: Cate Blanchett

If we had a vote: Cate Blanchett - Unlike the Best Actor race, this category has been a lock for months now, making for a borderline boring awards season.


Actor in a Supporting Role 

Barkhad Abdi - Captain Phillips
Bradley Cooper - American Hustle
Michael Fassbender - 12 Years a Slave
Jonah HIll - Wolf of Wall Street
Jared Leto - Dallas Buyers Club

Who will win: Jared Leto

If we had a vote: Jared Leto - The Academy tends to award transformative roles, with McConaughey and Leto's combined weight loss expected to be no exception. However, both of these performances go much further than skin deep and are 150% deserving.

If we could award second place for an outstanding performance: Michael Fassbender


Actress in a Supporting Role 

Sally Hawkins - Blue Jasmine
Jennifer Lawrence - American Hustle
Lupita Nyong'o - 12 Years a Slave
Julia Roberts - August: Osage County
June Squibb - Nebraska

Who will win: Lupita Nyong'o
Who could spoil: Jennifer Lawrence - Never underestimate the power of a popular actress in Hollywood.

If we had a vote: Lupita Nyong'o - This is the category that forces me to take the most passionate stance. Lupita Nyong'o must win this award. Her gut-wrenching, emotional, epic performance is what the Oscars are all about. Sorry J-Law...but that's Nyong'o's golden statue.


Animated Feature Film

The Croods
Despicable Me 2
Ernest & Celestine
Frozen
The Wind Rises

Who will win: Frozen

If we had a vote: Despicable Me 2...the minions


Cinematography

The Grandmaster - Philippe Le Sourd
Gravity - Emmanuel Lubezki
Inside Llewyn Davis - Bruno Delbonnel
Nebraska - Phedon Papamichael
Prisoners - Roger A. Deakins

Who will win: Gravity

If we had a vote: Inside Llewyn Davis - The Coen Brothers' middle names are "Cinematography"


Film Editing

American Hustle
Captain Phillips
Dallas Buyers Club
Gravity
12 Years a Slave

Who will win: Gravity - Expect Gravity to win every editing/mixing/visual award possible


Costume Design 

American Hustle - Michael Wilkinson
The Grandmaster - William Chang Suk Ping
The Great Gatsby - Catherine Martin
The Invisible Woman - Michael O'Connor
12 Years a Slave - Patricia Norris

Who will win: Catherine Martin - The Great Gatsby 

If we had a vote: Michael Wilkinson - American Hustle - Two words...Amy Adams.


Directing

David O. Russell - American Hustle
Alfonso Cuaron - Gravity
Alexander Payne - Nebraska
Steve McQueen - 12 Years a Slave
Martin Scorsese - Wolf of Wall Street 

Who will win: Alfonso Cuaron - Gravity 

If we had a vote: Steve McQueen - 12 Years a Slave
Who should have been here: The Coen Brothers (always)


Documentary Feature 

The Act of Killing
Cutie and the Boxer
Dirty Wars
The Square
20 Feet from Stardom

Who will win: 20 Feet from Stardom

If we had a vote: 20 Feet from Stardom


Documentary Short Subject

Cave Digger
Facing Fear
Karama Has No Walls
The Lady in Number 6: Music Saved My Life
Prison Terminal: The Last Days of Private Jack Hall

Who will win: The Lady in Number 6: Music Saved My Life 

If we had a vote: The Lady in Number 6: Music Saved My Life



Foreign Language Film 

The Broken Circle Breakdown - Belgium
The Great Beauty - Italy
The Hunt - Denmark
The Missing Picture - Cambodia
Omar - Palestine

Who will win: The Great Beauty

If we had a vote: The Great Beauty - a visual masterpiece and philosophical maze that must be dissected to achieve true appreciation and understanding. The camerawork alone deserves a space among ancient Italian masterpieces.


Makeup and Hairstyling

Dallas Buyers Club
Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa
The Lone Ranger

Who will win: Dallas Buyers Club

If we had a vote: Dallas Buyers Club - Jared Leto's makeup deserves its own award.



Music (Original Score)

The Book Thief - John Williams
Gravity - Steven Price
Her - William Butler and Owen Pallett
Philomena - Alexandre Desplat
Saving Mr. Banks - Thomas Newman

Who will win: Gravity - Steven Price

If we had a vote: Her - William Butler and Owen Pallett

Music (Original Song)

"Happy" from Despicable Me 2 - Pharrell Williams
"Let It Go" from Frozen - Kristen Anderson-Lopez & Robert Lopez
"The Moon Song" from Her - Karen O and Spike Jonze
"Ordinary Love" from Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom - U2

Who will win: "Let It Go" from Frozen

If we had a vote: "Happy" from Despicable Me 2 - Pharrell Williams



Short Animated Film

Feral
Get a Horse!

Mr. Hublot
Possessions
Room on the Broom

Who will win: Get a Horse!

If we had a vote: Mr. Hublot

Short Film 

Aquel No Era Yo (That Wasn't Me)
Avant Que De Tout Perdre (Just Before Losing Everything)
Helium
Pitaako Mun Kaikki Hoitaa? (Do I have to Take Care of Everything?)
The Voorman Problem 

Who will win: The Voorman Problem 

If we had a vote: Have You Read The Review is schedule for a Short Film viewing fest this weekend, so the current answer is: undecided.


Sound Editing 
All is Lost 
Captain Phillips
Gravity
The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug
Lone Survivor 

Who will win: Gravity 

If we had a vote: Gravity 

Sound Mixing 

Captain Phillips
Gravity 
The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug
Inside Llewyn Davis 
Lone Survivor 

Who will win: Gravity 

If we had a vote: Gravity 


Visual Effects

Gravity 
The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug
Iron Man 3
The Lone Ranger
Star Trek Into Darkness

Who will win: Gravity 

If we had a vote: Gravity 



Adapted Screenplay 

Before Midnight 
Captain Phillips
Philomena
12 Years a Slave
Wolf of Wall Street 

Who will win: 12 Years a Slave 

If we had a vote: Before Midnight - Although 12 Years a Slave is deserving, Before Midnight would make for a delightful underdog victory. The film is the final part of a linear trilogy, the culmination of ten years of filming. The writing has been the core of the three films, and I've never been so enthralled with the words said by actors as during a passionate argument between Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy.


Original Screenplay

American Hustle
Blue Jasmine
Dalls Buyers Club
Her
Nebraska 

Who will win: Her
Could spoil: American Hustle 

If we had a vote: Her OR Nebraska - Because each of these films writing is brilliant in its own unique way. Nebraska, in the sort of way that you want to keep a copy of the film in your home and watch it over and over again and Her, in the sort of way where the credits start to roll as you realize you've never seen anything like it.

Interpreting Today's Oscar Nominations

Thursday's Oscar nominations announcement proved once again that a Golden Globe nomination means nothing to Academy voters, nor does the buzz flying around Hollywood. The morning was filled with many shocking surprises, including the complete snubbing of more than one award-worthy film and a few actors and actresses once considered shoo-ins.

Best Picture 

American Hustle
Captain Phillips
Dallas Buyers Club
Gravity
Her
Nebraska
Philomena
12 Years a Slave
The Wolf of Wall Street

Who's missing: Inside Llewyn Davis
                       Lee Daniels' The Butler
                       Saving Mr. Banks
                       Rush  

Biggest Surprise: Dallas Buyers Club

What this means: I found it odd that Dallas Buyers Club was left off of the Best Picture Drama nominations list at the Golden Globes when both Best Actor and Best Supporting actor went to the film's stars, Matthew McConaughey and Jared Leto. The film receives the recognition it deserves from the Academy, although it will be hard to beat 12 Years a Slave or American Hustle. This is also not the only category in which Inside Llewyn Davis was snubbed. The film only received nominations for sound mixing and cinematography, an art the Coen brothers have mastered. Inside Llewyn Davis sits near the top of my list of favorites in 2013 and therefore deserved better. Lee Daniels' The Butler was completely shut down by the Academy, as it was at the Golden Globes, without a single nomination for the film or it's acting.

Actor in a Leading Role

Christian Bale - American Hustle 
Bruce Dern Nebraska 
Leonardo DiCaprio - Wolf of Wall Street
Chiwetel Ejiofor - 12 Years a Slave
Matthew McConaughey Dallas Buyers Club 

Who's missing: Robert Redford - All is Lost
                       Tom Hanks - Captain Phillips
                       Joaquin Phoenix - Her
                       Oscar Issac - Inside Llewyn Davis 
                       Forest Whitaker - Lee Daniels' The Butler 
                       Idris Elba - Madela: Long Walk to Freedom 

What this means: The elimination of Tom Hanks and Robert Redford, acting legends that the Academy loves to recognize, leaves the door wide open for a race to the finish. It's a shame Redford was snubbed, as he put on a breathtaking one man show in the nearly silent All is Lost. I believe it will come down to Matthew McConaughey, winner of Best Actor in a Drama at the Golden Globes, and Chiwetel Ejiofor for his performance in 12 Years a Slave. But you unfortunately can't count out Leo, who took home the globe for Best Actor in a Comedy for his controversial role of Jordan Belfort in Wolf of Wall Street. 

Actress in a Leading Role

Amy Adams - American Hustle
Cate Blanchett Blue Jasmine 
Sandra Bullock Gravity 
Judi Dench - Philomena 
Meryl Streep August: Osage County 

Who's missing: Kate Winslet - Labor Day 
                       Emma Thompson-Saving Mr. Banks
                       

What this means: It seems that Emma Thompson and Kate Winslet were bumped from the list of nominees by the queen of awards season, Ms. Meryl Streep. The traditional five nominees format filled up quickly with such locks as Amy Adams, the likely winner Cate Blanchett and Sandra Bullock, leaving only two spots for the taking. No matter the year or film, if Meryl Streep is in a starring role an invisible placeholder exists for her name. Judi Dench won the battle for the last spot, bumping the deserving Emma Thompson. I have not yet seen Labor Day, but I have also never seen a movie where Kate Winslet was not fabulous. If forced you could shrink this category to two nominees - Adams and Blanchett, with Blanchett coming out on top.


Actor in a Supporting Role 

Barkhad Abdi Captain Phillips 
Bradley Cooper - American Hustle
Michael Fassbender 12 Years a Slave
Jonah Hill Wolf of Wall Street
Jared Leto - Dallas Buyers Club

Biggest Surprise: Jonah Hill - Wolf of Wall Street

What this means: This category is the most predictable of them all. I don't see there being any way Jared Leto doesn't walk up on stage to accept his Oscar in March. The Academy loves transformative roles and Leto not only lost 45 pounds, he morphed into an unrecognizable transvestite diagnosed with AIDS.  The only other actor with a speck of a chance is Michael Fassbender who gave a bone-chilling performance as a ruthless slave owner in 12 Years a Slave. Alas, he didn't lose a fourth of his body weight or change genders...the voters will go with Leto.


Actress in a Supporting Role

Sally Hawkins - Blue Jasmine 
Jennifer Lawrence - American Hustle
Lupita Nyong'o 12 Years a Slave
Julia Roberts - August: Osage County
June Squibb Nebraska

Who's missing: Oprah Winfrey - Lee Daniels' The Butler 

What this means: I am actually shocked Oprah was not nominated for her role in The Butler. Although she was overlooked by the Golden Globes, I thought the Academy would give her a nod. The Golden Globes awarded Jennifer Lawrence, but I expect 12 Years a Slave to do very well at this year's Oscars. This category will come down to whether or not it's treated as a popularity contest. There is currently no one more popular than Lawrence, but Nyong'o was a knockout.

Directing

David O. Russel - American Hustle
Alfonso Cuaron - Gravity 
Alexander Payne - Nebraska
Steve McQueen - 12 Years a Slave
Martin Scorsese - The Wolf of Wall Street 

Who's missing: The Coen brothers - Inside Llewyn Davis
                       Woody Allen - Blue Jasmine 
                        Paul Greengrass - Captain Phillips

What this means: I just can't agree with the Cohen brothers not being nominated. Oh well, Cuaron will take home the prize regardless of the combination of fellow nominees.               
Best & Worst of the 2014 Golden Globes

The Best & Worst of the 2014 Golden Globes

Best

Seth Meyers' reaction to Andy Samberg's big win

There are few things I love more than SNL and the imaginary friendships I have with each of the current and former cast members. One of the night's biggest surprises, Andy Samberg's Best Actor in a TV comedy win for Brooklyn Nine-Nine, was met by jubilation from his former SNL co-worker Seth Meyers. It was a perfectly human moment. I loved it.


Matthew McConaughey's acceptance speech - "Alright, alright, alright."


Matthew McConaughey's speech was everything an acceptance speech should be:
1. Kicked off with three kisses from his wife and a dramatic approach to the golden statue, like a charging bull to a Matador.
2. Full of McConaughey swag, he started off the speech with his famous catchphrase, "Alright, alright alright."
3.Gracious, he gushed about his fellow nominees (the man beat out acting legends Tom Hanks and Robert Redford)
4. Thanks to mom, with a story about how she made him go outside and play, helping him discover the world.
5. Full of the passion of an underdog, McConaughey spoke of how the story of Ron Woodroof was passed on by Hollywood a total of 86 times.
6. Complete with the world's cutest message to his wife and kids.
6. Capped off by a perfect quote: "This movie was never about dying, it was always about living. With that I say, just keep" (a reference to his Just Keep Livin Foundation, an organization empowering youth to lead active, healthy lives).

Watch the full speech here:



Amy Poehler's makeout session with Bono before leaving the "Losers Lounge"

Every year nine-time Emmy loser Amy Poehler and eleven-time Emmy loser Jon Hamm throw an Emmy after party in a Loser's Lounge where absolutely NO EMMYS are allowed. In fact, winners can only attend by making a donation to the Worldwide Orphans charity at the door. Brilliant. Used to the feeling of rejection, Amy was so overjoyed when her name was called that she celebrated with a quick make out session with U2's Bono before accepting her shiny, new award. Looks like Amy might have to start making donations to get into her own party. She's was always a winner but now it's official, and all the Leslie Knope fans of the world can rejoice.

Breaking Bad's Farewell

Does anyone know of any existing Breaking Bad support groups I could join to cope with the loss of the greatest show in history? It wouldn't have been right to say goodbye to Heisenberg without a Best Actor in a TV Drama win from Bryan Cranston, who has been nominated four times previously for the role without a win. To top it all off, Breaking Bad beat out some heavy hitters for Best Television Drama. Here's hoping that the spin-off Better Call Saul, premiering on AMC this November, is half the show Breaking Bad was.


Julia Roberts and Meryl Streep

The answer to the age old question: "If you could sit next to two people at a dinner party, who would it be?"


Tina and Amy's best jokes:

Fey: "Gravity is nominated for Best Motion Picture. It’s the story of how George Clooney would rather float away into space and die than spend one more minute with a woman his own age."


Fey: "And now, like a supermodel's vagina, let's all give a warm welcome to Leonardo DiCaprio."

Like the Clooney joke, this one finds its sweet spot in its truth. The best part is Leo's thumbs up of approval. He ain't mad...would you be?


Poehler: "Masters of Sex is the degree I got from Boston College."


Poehler: "The Wolf of Wall Street is a big nominee tonight. I really loved the film but some of it was too graphic. I mean if I wanted to see Jonah Hill masturbate at a pool party, I’d go to one of Jonah Hill’s pool parties."


Worst

Brooklyn Nine-Nine beating out GirlsModern FamilyParks and Rec (and the snubbed non-nominee Veep)

I'm sorry...but Andy Sandberg's new comedy comes nowhere close to the comedic genius of Lena Dunham's Girls, or of network sluggers Modern Family and Parks and Recreation. I was shocked. Someone at Fox is feeling pretty great this morning about the networking and politicking they did to buddy up with the Hollywood Foreign Press.

12 Years a Slave's Lupita Nyong'o walking away without an award

I am very happy for Jennifer Lawrence. I think she stole the show in American Hustle and was the perfect combination of stunning and psychotic. However, it has been a long time since I have seen as captivating of a performance as Lupita Nyong'o gave as Patsy in 12 Year a Slave. You feel the heartbreak of her circumstance through the screen, weep with her when she is abused and find yourself captivated by her beauty through it all. I sincerely hope the Academy chooses to recognize her next month, because I will find no justice in an awards season without her name in the winner's column.


Taylor Swift...in general

Before each film and television awards show I take a moment to be glad that I get a break from the red carpet walking stick figure that will not go away, Taylor Swift. However, this is always only a brief moment of joy, because there she is...every time. How do you always find a way to weasel yourself into Hollywood Taylor? And WHO put you at the same table as the incomparable Julia Robert and Meryl Streep? I would say don't let that go to your head, but I know it's much too late for that. (Note: If anyone messes with Amy Poehler they will receive the same strong reaction and wrath as T-Swift from Have You Read the Review). At least Jennifer Lawrence photobombed T-Swift before telling her "I was going to come and push you down the stairs." Thanks for the help J-Law.


Jacqueline Bisset's acceptance speech

"What is it my mother used to say?...'Go to hell and don't come back."

 


Aaron Paul losing Best Supporting Actor to Jon Voight

Was I the only one watching Jesse struggle to survive in Season 5 of Breaking Bad? His performance in the last scene alone (no spoilers here) is deserving of the award.

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